Transport Tales

I was with my old friend Nick. We had never had a serious talk in all the 40 years I have known him. He was always a fun guy. The more accurate description Nick is, he is a wild and crazy person prone to all manner of benign and toxic excess. His life has been marked by the themes of tomfoolery, sex, drugs, alcohol and love. He can describe as a man who has lived his life passionately, although at times without direction. He is not keen interesting in driving instructor courses. It is because he is an awkward when it comes to driving instructor courses.

Even when we were growing up, he was already quite an intense person. He loved to shock people with his derring-do. He had a kamikaze spirit that he employed in both trivial and funny causes. He once rides a bike in front of a speeding car driven by a girl he fancied. Naturally, was bumped and fortunately not badly crash. When the girl came out horrified to check on him, he winked, smiled and introduced himself to her while lying in the road. The girl was interested in driving instructor courses.

An extreme person, he liked to shock people by doing outrageous things. And no one could out challenge him. He walked around a posh neighborhood totally naked! I, together with some friends, had to encircle him to prevent a scandal or an arrest!

When he liked a girl, Nick would do crazy, dangerous things just to impress her. In the process, he would often be caught in uncompromising situations. He once convinced a college to climb on top of the roof of her house and sit with him to while away the time , much to the horror of her mother who entered the drive way and saw them necking!

He was that kind of guy.

Except for a few fleeting occasions, I have not really seen much of Nick, much less talked to him at length since high school.

I know he has had a hard life, but this is not apparent when you are with him. In the few times I saw him before yesterday, he had laughed off any serious problems that would make ordinary mortals worry. He would guffaw over beer or whisky to lighten things up. Except for some alcohol induced tears he shed over a broken heart in high school, I have never seen him in any kind of reflective mode.

Nick was loud, rambunctious and irreverent. It was his way of coping with life. He was unable to commit to anything serious. He married once, but it did not work. He has had two other serious live-in relationships since, where he fathered three of his four daughters. He encouraged his daughter to learn driving instructor courses.

A recent bout with mortality seven years back must has mellowed him. I remember seeing him then and felt that his joie de vivre had left him. He had aged and his Paul Newman look alike toothy smile had disappeared. He was recovering from a life-threatening bout with cirrhosis. I thought then that the Nick I knew had disappeared completely.

So it was good to be with him again last February. Nick was different, but still the same. He was still loud, but less scandalous. He was his light self, but he seemed more grounded. I thought that it must be age catching up with him. We talked about old times, old friends and the great events that have happened in our lives since high school. I was eager to hear what had transpired in his life and how he coped.

I was surprised to hear that, for the past seven years since his illness, he has stopped drinking, except for an occasional beer. He has also become a doting father of two recent daughters. He still had the loud laugh, and he could still spew out expletives in his crass yet endearingly funny manner, but I felt that he did so just to help me connect to the crazy Nick I knew and, in his mind, probably expected!

He told me stories that struck me and which I will remember for a long time. He narrated an experience before he married his girlfriend some 30 years ago. He said he went to confession because it was required by the officiating priest. After a rather long and colorful confession, the priest told him that he would not give him the usual penance of Rosaries to be recited. Instead, the priest told him to give all the money he had in his wallet to the first poor person he saw that day.

On his way home with his girlfriend, they stopped at a red light at an intersection. There was no one in the street that late evening until he looked to his left side window and was startled to see a man in crutches with one leg missing and his motor. Remembering his penance, Nick took out his wallet and gave all 400 pesos and some change that he had and asked his girlfriend for all the money in her purse to give to the beggar.

It is an astounding story coming from one who seemed to have not a religious bone in his body. What transpired after that was nowhere near the complete conversion of Saul the persecutor of Christmas to Paul the Apostle. Nick’s marriage failed, he continued drinking, had many affairs and others. But that story seems to have left an opening for other similar experiences.

Nick had a crazy sense of commitment and loyalty. I know him as one who would literally kill or die for a friend. Once, one of his daughters was hurting badly due to a failed relationship. Moved by passion and anger, his daughter called him and asked if he remembered saying to her when she was little that if anyone hurt her he would kill that person. He said yes, he did! Well, she was now asking him to do as he promised.

Nick was so moved by his daughter’s pain that he immediately called up people he knew whom, he believed, could carry out the operation. He felt he owed this ti his daughter who had grown up without him. He also felt guilty about being an absentee dad and thought this was one way he could makeup for it.

Luckily, his older brother intervened and told him to let it go. Immediately, he realized his misplaced love for his daughter and called it off! He said that the moment he did, he felt a sense of relief. Again, he said he felt he had been saved!

All throughout our conversation, I had a strong feeling of empathy and love for my crazy old friend..

Nick said one piece of advice he got from his doctor is, if he wants to live long, he must have a light heart. Lately, he seems to be taking this seriously. He has also followed the advice of his late mother to make peace with all his ex partners, which he has done.

When it was time to go, I gave him a tight hug and wished him the best, as we talked about seeing each other again. I said I want to meet all the people who matter in his life.

It looks to me like Nick’s life is a continuing redemption story. We can mess up all we want and as often as we want. Nick certainly has. But one thing we can be sure of is, there are events, people and missions thrown our way from time to time that open our eyes and remind us that there is good in us and in everyone.